10 Ways to More Happiness!
We could all use a little more happiness in our lives but what is it really going to take to get there? Get yourself out of that rut and consider some of our badass suggestions below:
1. Give yourself more options
Rather than trying to force yourself into a new habit, give yourself some breathing room in order to better acclimate to this idea of change. Changing your routine seems like a great idea until you are reminded the wisdom of spiritual teacher Biggie Smalls, in which he says “breaking old habits so hard to do.” Instead of declaring to work out five days a week, give yourself another option if you don’t particularly feel up to it. Rather than ditching working out altogether come to a compromise with yourself since there’s always “Me, myself and I.” If your options are “Today I will work out OR I’ll paint” OR “Today I’ll drop some dope ass rhymes OR I’ll practice my break dancing” then you can still pursue something that isn’t embedded in your usual routine and you won’t have to end the day feeling guilty for procrastinating rather than doing something productive. By having various options (or at least two!), the process of breaking the routine won’t appear so daunting. Give yourself a break. If you seesaw between two things and learn to do them consistently, at least to start, it’s not as frustrating as it is to do nothing.
2. Talk to someone
Perhaps you’ve heavily considered therapy for years but never actually sought out a psychologist. Maybe you’d like to meet more people that share your interests. Look into helpful websites like Zocdoc.com or Meetup.com. If you’re human, which I’m assuming you are, unless you’re a highly evolved dolphin, than you must have some feelings and thoughts you really need to air. Friends are great resources but sometimes they become too preoccupied with their own lives and can’t provide the same emotional comfort for you that they once did. While it’s difficult not to look at some withering relationships without resentment, do your best to be forgiving and learn to seek security within yourself. Attending social gatherings or speaking with professionals like therapists or life coaches, who know how to offer an unbiased and non-judgmental perspective, will give you the ability to get the guidance you need without feeling like you need to beg for attention. We all require tender tending to. Like kitties! Aww!
3. Limit your time on Social Media
I know you’ve heard this before so don’t make me get medieval on your ass! Instead of looking at what everyone else is doing with their lives, go out and live your own. Social media is designed to grab your attention so you better learn to curb that Facebook addiction. Make sure the desire to stay connected doesn’t jeopardize the time that could be spent doing things that may actually fulfill you. Will you chose your dream or will you succumb to a life of scrolling up and down webpages all fucking night?
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” –Steve Furtick
*HELPFUL TIP* Stay signed out of major social media websites and make sure you always have to type your password to gain access into that black hole. Having to log in each time may force you to consider: “Do I have something else I should be doing with my time?” Like practicing your juggling, for instance.
4. Practice Acceptance
Easier said than done – I know. No matter how convinced you are that there are many alterations that need to occur in order for you to ever love yourself, allow me to karate chop this false belief- Hayah! We’re all unique and seeking to become those who you idolize will make you lose yourself fast. You are who you are. Maybe you’re 20 pounds heavier than you’d like to be. Maybe you’re a little vain. Maybe you’re horribly forgetful. Socially awkward? Just plain weird? Tell you what, we’re all equally imperfect. And luckily due to the array of people and the array of preferences in the world, that means you can most likely find someone that won’t think your “flaws” are flaws at all. The sooner you stop picking at the eccentricities, you will find more peace and you will also find more ease in moving forward.
And what does moving forward really imply? Moving forward implies that by surrendering to our current reality and by not putting up a fight the sooner we can:
1. See a positive in the situation (You may be unhappy with your weight but some people are missing limbs and could care less about what a scale could indicate to them.)
2. Move towards resolve (Either the fixing of something that may pose a real issue or the doing-away-with of negative thought patterns and beliefs.)
So acceptance in all areas of life is important. It doesn’t mean giving up. It just means that by understanding what has happened and by limiting our emotional reaction to it, we can actually get closer to solving the problem, or seeing it differently if it never really was a “problem.”
You can practice acceptance anywhere, at any time. It isn’t easy but it’s immensely valuable.
5. Buy Yourself Shit
Not all the time. Or not even every day. Well, unless you really want to and oh-my-god did you just see that purse in the window… No, but in all seriousness… If you really want a fresh bouquet of roses and are tired of dreaming of the man who will bring them to you, baby, get that shit yourself! I Know, I Know. Allow me to anticipate the amount of people who will jump down my throat with rebuttals such as “Money doesn’t buy happiness!” and “We don’t need to be feeding into the idea of a consumer society” and trust me, I get it. But guess what? We live in a consumer society. See Number 4 above. Oh Snap! And even if this was “the good old days,” if your grandmother was in the mood for some fresh ripe tomatoes, she’d go into the fucking garden and get them herself! The point is: you know yourself best. So provide whatever it is that you feel you require. Whether or not that shit comes free of charge.
6. More Cat Videos
7. Hug More Often
Maybe this isn’t appropriate with your boss or with the stranger you’re sitting next to on the subway. No need to chase the homeless man or even the coffee cart guy. Then again, it’s your life, do whatever the hell you want! But find someone who will mutually agree because that oxytocin is just Through Da ROOF mad crazy!
8. Stylize that shit!
RECREATE yourself or your space (or both!)
Contemporary Bedroom by Lafayette Interior Designers & Decorators Holly Bender Interiors
“You mean you’re telling me to be more fashionable? Well that sounds odd for a lifestyle magazine to say…” Well maybe you think so but I’m going to make you think again. Style, fashion, and aesthetic are all based around the idea of DECOR and accentuating physical things: That fabulous chaise in your living room, that new slate tile in your bathroom, your alligator skin shoes. This is art my friends. The same way a poet constructs a metaphor, this is art that complements our space or our bodies. So consider this: Of all the time that we spend hating ourselves, how much time do you actually spend accentuating yourself? You don’t need to be a Victoria’s Secret Model to do so, and if you are, that’s cool too. No matter your shape, your height, your gender, or how furry you may be, if you find a style you appreciate and you take the time to pamper your presentation, you may actually feel better about yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to not spend the morning with your clothes all over the floor of your room? Learn to shop for your shape, discover your style or try new ones, and start feeling like a king/queen (or both if you’re the type that likes to challenge social norms). You deserve to feel good (this has to do with all that loving yourself stuff) and sometimes that’s a lot easier to do when you give yourself some much needed attention. And while you’re at it please get rid of the wretched wood paneling in your basement!
9. Go somewhere you haven’t been before.. Or haven’t been to in a while!
Rustic Landscape by Atlanta Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers Cultivators Design and Landscape
Maybe it’s your backyard. I know-there are far too many weeds to pull that at this point that it’s beyond comprehension but what if you redesign that space into a kickass oasis! Been meaning to go to the Maldives? Well, start planning. Can’t afford to travel? No problem. Drive. Somewhere. Anywhere! Or walk. Hopefully not to the hood. And I suggest you have a GPS handy. Or a friend who knows how to read a map because lord knows I can’t! But just do it. Go somewhere new or somewhere you haven’t been to in a while. (Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!) No matter WHERE YOU LIVE, you most likely don’t take advantage of all of your surroundings and no I’m not talking about having a beer while soaking in your neighbor’s outdoor hot tub just because the fence was high enough to climb over. Need to drive an hour away to get to the lake? Great, just go. Why not? Sometimes a small break from the routine can offer that “vacation” you’ve been looking for.
10. MEMENTO MORI
We’re all going to die. But luckily, this world is pretty hilarious and strange so why not take advantage of it while you’re here?
Memento Mori is said to be something that a Roman general had his servant repeat to him on a routine basis shortly after achieving a victory. It literally translates into: “Remember that you will die.” The assumed reason for having his servant repeat this to him was to remind the general of his own mortality and that no matter his status, he is human just like everybody else.
While I understand that death may seem like too a morbid of a topic to bring up when we’re talking about happiness, it’s actually quite relevant. It’s an undeniable part of life. It’s what makes life sweet, knowing that it doesn’t quite last forever. Death is the end of the cycle, it signifies completion.
When we consider our mortality our life gains significant value. We realize we have an expiration date. Don’t worry – everything does, well except maybe plastic bottles. If life alone cannot motivate you, excite you, awake you, allow death to be that catalyst. You don’t have to go Goth and start wearing black eyeliner and listen to Jack Off Jill, although they are pretty awesome. Typically we want things we cannot have and we value the things that don’t last forever, like glorious vacation days. So take death and use it a reminder. Rather than thinking of it as the sad or treacherous ending most people do, let it be your tool. So before we have earth worms as roommates, enjoy the life you have been given while it is still yours to live.
Surprise! 11. GIVE IN
A life of excessive deprivation will make you grumpy, not happy. Just have the chocolate, god damnit.
You met Hewy on the LIRR and spoke about your blog – I believe he also shared mine with you. Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love what you’re doing. Kick the doubts and keep going. Much love from one blogger to the next.
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” –Steve Furtick
Brilliant quote!
Thanks for the Blog. Your insight speaks to everyday life, it’s the little things in life that make us happy, day to day. I always try to live by, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
It is my pleasure to have met you and to read your blogs going forward.