The Karmic Press – Page 3 – We Came to Drop Knowledge

Facebook’s Secret Study: Here’s What I Learned

Is Facebook more powerful than we previously imagined? We’ve heard about Facebook addiction and the undeniable F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out) that comes with social media infatuation. Multiple studies have been done that suggest that Facebook can increase feelings of inadequacy, depression and bring on societal pressure to perform and even out-perform others. But recent drama is stirring thanks to a secret study that Facebook itself decided to conduct in conjunction with Cornell University entitled “Experimental Evidence of Massive-Scale Emotional Contagion Through Social Networks.”

The study consisted of close to 700,000 users and involved the manipulation of data in the Facebook newfeed. The question that the study sought to address was whether or not emotions can be influenced to be more positive or more negative based upon the content that appears before the user. The data found suggests that what other users are posting will have a direct effect on your emotions and mood and therefore will effect the content that you will post. What the study implies is that emotions are contagious even through virtual social media platforms.

While many are frustrated and some even outraged over the study that was conducted without their knowledge, and while privacy issues are nothing new to Facebook, this study offers something worth pondering.

Within the research report they write that while numerous data has been done over a 20 year span to confirm that emotions are contagious within social networks, this was not yet currently confirmed when pertaining to VIRTUAL social networks. This study, like the studies conducted many years before it, only confirms what we already know: Emotions are contagious within groups and that they can be easily manipulated and influenced by others.

In response to this, there is even a movement that has begun called 99 DAYS OF FREEDOM, a website that urges Facebook users to do a social media cleanse to free their mind. While this may be useful for the seriously obsessed, I am not sure that this extreme is entirely necessary nor is it realistic or helpful for people that are business owners and rely on Facebook to promote their businesses and interact with potential clients. A break from the excessive connection to technology can definitely help free one’s mind and help ease the feeling of OVERSTIMULATION, however what interests me more is how we can adjust our Facebook experience to make it serve us.

Perhaps we ought to consider the massive knowledge that has been DROPPED on us. While others rant, vent and bitch, maybe the rest of us can take this knowledge and utilize it. Perhaps it’s time to unsubscribe from your annoying friends’ news feed and from their never ending complaints. Because clearly it has a bigger effect than we sometimes take the time to realize. It seems that the same way one can catch a cold, one can catch someone else’s “vibes” or emotions and make them their own.

While my argument in no way seeks to dismiss the privacy and ethical issues concerning this study, and while I do not deny that a break from social media could be worth considering, what I would like to point out is that the information that this study offers is immensely value – if we know how to use it – to OUR advantage.

Your friends, your connections and the content you subscribe to is all up to you.

Maybe a good place to start is altering your Facebook account so that it serves YOU more positively?

READ MORE ON THE TOPIC:

Facebook Reveals News Feed Experiment to Control Emotions by ROBERT BOOTH

The Anti-Social Network by LIBBY COPELAND

Senator Asks FTC to Investigate Facebook Mood Study by DARA KERR

The True Costs of Facebook Addiction: Low Self-Esteem and Poor Body Image by ALICE G. WALTON

Volcano Boarding In Nicaragua

volcano-boarding-nicaragua-woe1-1050x700 — Photo Source: WHENONEARTH.NET

Nicaragua is a country that is rich with history and culture. Matched with it’s distinct flora and geography, one will find life blooming all around them. Despite being a third-world country, it has so much to offer to those who dare travel into its beautiful territory. You can visit one of its various islands, like Corn and Little Corn Islands, enjoy the beautiful beaches brimming with sea life, or tour around the cities that are bursting with culture. One of Nicaragua’s best tourist attractions, aside from their beaches, is their volcanoes. The plethora of volcanoes that are housed on Nicaraguan land gives tourists the unique choices of either swimming, gliding, hiking, or touring in some of the most beautiful landscapes above sea level.

Today I want to share with you the amazing adventure of going Volcano Boarding on Cerro Negro (Black Hill) volcano in León, Nicaragua.

Cerro Negro is one of Central America’s youngest volcanoes, clocking in at 161 years old. Since its birth around 1850 it has had 23 eruptions, with its last being in 1999. The volcano itself is about 500 meters high with a 41 degree slope, being Nicaragua’s steepest. It has no vegetation growing on it but that does not make it any less beautiful. Those who decide to venture to the top of Cerro Negro are presented with a wonderful 360 degree view of the land surrounding it. Cerro Negro is still active today, so if you plan to hike it in preparation to board down it’s slopes, remember to bring water so you don’t sizzle to death, and be sure to have a good pair of hiking boots to assure that your feet won’t suffer the consequences of rocks lodging in the crevices.

Volcano boarding was invented on the same mountain it is performed on today; by an Australian man by the name of Darryn Webb, in 2005 when he visited Cerro Negro. This thrill seeker tested picnic tables and even mattresses to see what suited boarding down the volcano until he found that a piece of plywood reinforced with metal was the best way to go. This fairly new sport has since then been tested out by over 25,000 brave hearts. Volcano boarding really is a very fun sport to participate in. You get the thrilling ride of a lifetime when you decide to make the trek all the way up the mountain and then down on the board they provide you (unless, of course, you brought you own). After hitting rock bottom, pun intended, you get the pleasure of walking all the way up again. While you walk up, you can look around you to see the beautiful and clear view that Cerro Negro offers you. At the top, not only do you get this 360 degree view of Nicaragua, but you also get to see the crater inside the volcano. The crater is not churning with burning hot lava, like one can see in the movies, but nonetheless it is quite an experience to see it.

Can you walk inside the harmless crater?

Yes, but mostly to test run your volcano boarding skills before taking on the mountain itself. It is strongly suggested by the employees there that you have some kind of experience with snowboarding or the like due to the dangers of volcano boarding, but you can still practice inside the volcano until you feel equipped to take on the mountain. Which is pretty awesome because how many people can say they volcano boarded inside the volcano?

The only danger you have to worry about if you do decide to take on the mountain are the tiny rocks flying at you as you descend. When you are heading down a 41 degree steep slope at 30-40 mph, something so small can be incredibly painful. These tiny rocks will cut into your clothes and skin if you decide to go at it without the protective gear. I’m a safety junkie when it comes to this because volcano boarding is certainly a unique sport. There is also a lot of friction going on when you are going down, so you have to make sure you keep a steady balance. This is why many volcano boarders have suggested you go down the slope sitting down on the board rather than standing up.

So how much does this all really cost?

Honestly, it should never surpass $30-40 per person. Darryn Webb’s hotel, Bigfoot is the original hotel in León, Nicaragua to provide volcano boarders with rooms for as low as $7-$8.50 for dorms, $20-$35 for private rooms, and volcano boarding equipment for $29 a person. Agencies like Tierra Tour also provide tourists with lodging and equipment for volcano boarding but they charge around $35 per person, depending on whether you are a couple or a group of 3 or more. Despite what the agency or hotel asks you to pay for equipment and rooming, you will always have to pay a $5 entrance fee to the mountain.

If you would like to know more about volcano boarding you can always contact the agencies I have mentioned above. If volcano boarding isn’t for you and you’re not sure if you’re ready for the adrenaline rush but you still want to visit Cerro Negro and climb it without having to board down the slope, then remember that there are also hiking tours that can be reserved.

How to Function In the Midst of Overstimulation

Imagine yourself standing at the corner of 47^th Street and Broadway, the belly of the beast: Times Square. All senses are alert and overwhelmed – dozens of variously sized mega-tron advertisements, bight flashing lights, unorganized traffic with frustrating tourists bumping into you – yet seemingly immobile – smells of burnt peanuts and boiling hotdogs, the murmurs of thousands of layers of conversations, Broadway promoters singing enthusiastically, loud-mouthed strangers yelling and fighting, modern jesters and naked musicians – It is near terrifying enough that it is the most highly avoided neighborhood to be in if you are a true “New Yorker.” Way too much is going on at any single moment. I quickly fade into a twitching zombie, desperate to escape to a more low-key side street.

Manhattan is the epicenter of American overstimulation; Bright lights, dimly-lit smoke filled nightlife, ceaseless street noise, echoing sirens patrolling every intersection, all resulting from a dramatically overcrowded population of nearly 2 million, all inside of 23 sq. miles. Being part of Generation-Y, I inherently have A.D.H.D., so being able to focus and relax are true obstacles and challenges in this fast-paced city.

I have always been familiar with New York City. My parents are from Bayside and Bay Ridge, but decided to move upstate and raise my brother and I in a small farm town. Not much goes on in Warwick, New York. The world is silent during the day, and even more silent at night, aside from the chirping crickets and other various calls of nature. The lack of diversity and action had me eager to experience a city lifestyle; I didn’t learn to truly appreciate the soothing ambiance of the peak of a mountain until I was fully submerged in the metropolitan lifestyle. I went from tracing crisp constellations to over-exposed red skies, absent of starlight. I moved from driving for miles without passing a single car to passing and interacting with hundreds to thousands of strangers on a very daily basis. This transition has left me conflicted in how to balance out everything going on around me, with my own mental clarity and health in mind. This issue of overstimulation is shared by millions of people not only in New York, but in cities and settings all over the world.

How can we function in the midst of overstimulation? Overstimulation psychologically induces anxiety and creates a response of fear within the brain, often causing us to shut down and reject whatever may be in front of us. Finding ways to disconnect or calm ourselves regularly are the only ways to maintain sanity is such an intense environment. Here are a few suggestions on how to de-stimulate, relax and recuperate to make life seem more manageable again.

GO A WEEK WITHOUT A CELLPHONE

There have been periods of time where I didn’t have a phone due to various reasons and I found much peace and more room to think without the constant distraction. See how you like or how you manage and most importantly, see what you learn.

DO A SOCIAL MEDIA CLEANSE

The addictive nature associated with constantly being connected to anyone you have ever known, often results in FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out. Disconnecting for a few days will feel refreshing and it gives you space to enjoy your delicious lunch without needing to post a picture and check-in.

GO TO A PLACE OF NATURE ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK

Even in the big city there are quick ways to escape the concrete jungle and find a little Garden of Eden. Google or Yelp can easily navigate nearby hikes, bodies of water, and scenic rural routes to explore.

CONSIDER A MEDITATION PRACTICE

Silencing all the thoughts racing inside your head is easier said than done. Deep breathing, yoga, and self-hypnosis are a few methods of meditation. Try taking a long deep breath in, stretching over 8 seconds. Hold your breath for another 8, and slowly release your breath over 8 more seconds. Doing this a couple of times will undoubtedly calm your tensions and help you relax.

EXERCISE

A good work out can be very therapeutic. Though you may be exhausted and drained, a good little bit of cardio and sweat will get your heart pumping and your brain releasing endorphins to help ease your mind and lighten your mood. Try hot yoga- you will sweat your worries away, while mixing in some meditation to quiet your mind.

COME HOME & DIM THE LIGHTS

It has been said that bright lights can intensify mood, be it positive or negative. It turns out that dimming the lights doesn’t just come in handy for romantic evenings. Sometimes dimming the lights can significantly help settle you. At times having less detail to focus on helps bring your attention inward.

TAKE A BATH

Many of us are accustomed to rushing through our showers and grooming habits. Taking a bath consciously helps you relax – allow yourself to enjoy the hot water, the silence and melt into the experience. There is no rush. Only your health.

MAKE MORE TIME TO READ

Books captivate and intrigue the mind as just as much as television or movies but they tend to stimulate the creative and imaginative parts of your brain rather than visually stimulating you. Opening up a good book is a quick passport out of whatever it is you’re in the middle of.

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SCHEDULE A MASSAGE

Our muscles store our stress and emotion so a good rub down can help release all of that built up tension. Keep in mind that you don’t have to spend a fortune! Do a little research into local salons and spas and compare prices – In NYC you can find a great $40 1-hour body massage from many Chinese owned massage parlors.

CONSIDER ESCAPING THE CITY

Many people choose to commute over investing in Manhattan real estate because coming home to their own peaceful property in the suburbs with a quiet backyard and chirping crickets is much more appreciated than being a 15 minute crowded walk to work every day. Deeply consider whether or not your living situation could use an adjustment.

LIGHT A CANDLE OR SOME INCENSE

By bringing your focus to one thing only it allows you to melt into the moment. Overstimulation is a result of too many things going on at once so when you focus on a single occurrence it tends to dissipate a lot of the anxiety that comes with feeling overwhelmed. The aroma of a candle or incense can also ease your mind as well as settle your focus. And hey if you feel like taking it up a notch, go ahead, get that lava lamp!

While implementing some of these suggestions may take some effort and patience at first (changing your routine always feels a little odd at first, especially if feeling relaxed is not something you’re use to), give yourself time to be willing to explore with what resonates best with you.

How to Build a Supportive Relationship

Relationships vary. At times it can be difficult to distinguish what exactly a relationship needs in order to be healthy and balanced. So what can a person do to build a supportive relationship that fosters self-acceptance and self-love? How can one behave in order to achieve that health and balance that everyone should feel when they are in a relationship?

Building a relationship like that can take time but it also takes effort from both sides. If you want to build a relationship that supports each party and fosters self-acceptance and confidence, take a look at the suggestions below and keep in mind that love is something that should be cultivated from the heart and soul.

1. Compromise

When you are having a conflict of any sort then try to compromise on it. Compromise encourages the expression of both desires with the intention of meeting in the middle. If you are going on a date, don’t just let the other person choose the time, place, and location for you unless it has been predetermined that it was okay. For example, if you were going to the movies, try and see who will pay. If you pay for each ticket separately, together, or for one another, it should be discussed prior to arriving at the compromised time. Compromising will let the other person state their opinion and you, yours, so that you can come to one point. Two lines have to meet unless they are parallel. Don’t be a parallel line. Compromise will benefit the both of you and not let either one of you feel left out.

2. Talk Everything Through

Despite how many times you’ve heard this it should never leave your mind. When a problem arises and it seems like there is no hope, or no compromise to resolving said problem, then try to sit down and talk about it. Talk about how you felt when the other person reacted in such a way and if you felt your anger was justifiable. Don’t ever go to sleep with an argument hanging over your head because it can really affect both sides and cause more pain than necessary. When you work it out you can learn something about your partner and about yourself. Not just that, it gives you and your partner the confidence to work out problems with a clearer mind. As time passes and you continue to communicate to each other, and learn more about each other, you will be able to find healthier ways of resolving issues despite your individual differences.

3. Be Thankful TO and FOR Your Partner

This one I had to learn a little later in my own current relationship. I wasn’t saying things like “thank you” whenever my boyfriend opened a door for me anymore because I’ve come to expect it. When I read “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrnes, I realized that I should have given that more thought. This isn’t only relevant to nice gestures but also for everything else. I ended up writing a list of things as to why I was grateful for my boyfriend (and other family and friends) and I read it to him out loud. He was really happy and it helped improve both his self-esteem and our relationship as a whole. Don’t be shy and even ask your other half to try the same. Don’t ever hesitate to show your gratitude.

4. Tell Them Why You Love Them

I don’t mean every day of the week, or every hour. I mean on days where it just feels right or on days they are under the weather. On days when my boyfriend feels like he can’t do anything right and that he is a failure, I tell he isn’t because he is not. He also does the same for me on days where I feel like the lowest person. You have to encourage your partner to believe that they are not unworthy of the love you share. You are dating this person because you saw something in them that you never saw in someone else. They put you in a higher place where you could breathe, laugh, cry and dance without a care. Remember that you also did the same for them. Remind them what they mean to you.

We don’t always find the relationships that we envision when we are looking for someone to love in this world, but we must keep in mind that relationships require an equal amount of effort from each partner involved. With the desire to learn more about one another and love each other better, our relationships can significantly improve.

Let us know what your favorite suggestion is in the comments below and if any of these have worked for you in the past or present. Also feel free to post your own suggestions if there’s something we didn’t mention!

10 Ways to More Happiness!

We could all use a little more happiness in our lives but what is it really going to take to get there? Get yourself out of that rut and consider some of our badass suggestions below:

1. Give yourself more options

Rather than trying to force yourself into a new habit, give yourself some breathing room in order to better acclimate to this idea of change. Changing your routine seems like a great idea until you are reminded the wisdom of spiritual teacher Biggie Smalls, in which he says “breaking old habits so hard to do.” Instead of declaring to work out five days a week, give yourself another option if you don’t particularly feel up to it. Rather than ditching working out altogether come to a compromise with yourself since there’s always “Me, myself and I.” If your options are “Today I will work out OR I’ll paint” OR “Today I’ll drop some dope ass rhymes OR I’ll practice my break dancing” then you can still pursue something that isn’t embedded in your usual routine and you won’t have to end the day feeling guilty for procrastinating rather than doing something productive. By having various options (or at least two!), the process of breaking the routine won’t appear so daunting. Give yourself a break. If you seesaw between two things and learn to do them consistently, at least to start, it’s not as frustrating as it is to do nothing.

2. Talk to someone

Perhaps you’ve heavily considered therapy for years but never actually sought out a psychologist. Maybe you’d like to meet more people that share your interests. Look into helpful websites like Zocdoc.com or Meetup.com. If you’re human, which I’m assuming you are, unless you’re a highly evolved dolphin, than you must have some feelings and thoughts you really need to air. Friends are great resources but sometimes they become too preoccupied with their own lives and can’t provide the same emotional comfort for you that they once did. While it’s difficult not to look at some withering relationships without resentment, do your best to be forgiving and learn to seek security within yourself. Attending social gatherings or speaking with professionals like therapists or life coaches, who know how to offer an unbiased and non-judgmental perspective, will give you the ability to get the guidance you need without feeling like you need to beg for attention. We all require tender tending to. Like kitties! Aww!

3. Limit your time on Social Media

I know you’ve heard this before so don’t make me get medieval on your ass! Instead of looking at what everyone else is doing with their lives, go out and live your own. Social media is designed to grab your attention so you better learn to curb that Facebook addiction. Make sure the desire to stay connected doesn’t jeopardize the time that could be spent doing things that may actually fulfill you. Will you chose your dream or will you succumb to a life of scrolling up and down webpages all fucking night?

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” –Steve Furtick

*HELPFUL TIP* Stay signed out of major social media websites and make sure you always have to type your password to gain access into that black hole. Having to log in each time may force you to consider: “Do I have something else I should be doing with my time?” Like practicing your juggling, for instance.

4. Practice Acceptance

Easier said than done – I know. No matter how convinced you are that there are many alterations that need to occur in order for you to ever love yourself, allow me to karate chop this false belief- Hayah! We’re all unique and seeking to become those who you idolize will make you lose yourself fast. You are who you are. Maybe you’re 20 pounds heavier than you’d like to be. Maybe you’re a little vain. Maybe you’re horribly forgetful. Socially awkward? Just plain weird? Tell you what, we’re all equally imperfect. And luckily due to the array of people and the array of preferences in the world, that means you can most likely find someone that won’t think your “flaws” are flaws at all. The sooner you stop picking at the eccentricities, you will find more peace and you will also find more ease in moving forward.

And what does moving forward really imply? Moving forward implies that by surrendering to our current reality and by not putting up a fight the sooner we can:

1. See a positive in the situation (You may be unhappy with your weight but some people are missing limbs and could care less about what a scale could indicate to them.)

2. Move towards resolve (Either the fixing of something that may pose a real issue or the doing-away-with of negative thought patterns and beliefs.)

So acceptance in all areas of life is important. It doesn’t mean giving up. It just means that by understanding what has happened and by limiting our emotional reaction to it, we can actually get closer to solving the problem, or seeing it differently if it never really was a “problem.”

You can practice acceptance anywhere, at any time. It isn’t easy but it’s immensely valuable.

5. Buy Yourself Shit

Not all the time. Or not even every day. Well, unless you really want to and oh-my-god did you just see that purse in the window… No, but in all seriousness… If you really want a fresh bouquet of roses and are tired of dreaming of the man who will bring them to you, baby, get that shit yourself! I Know, I Know. Allow me to anticipate the amount of people who will jump down my throat with rebuttals such as “Money doesn’t buy happiness!” and “We don’t need to be feeding into the idea of a consumer society” and trust me, I get it. But guess what? We live in a consumer society. See Number 4 above. Oh Snap! And even if this was “the good old days,” if your grandmother was in the mood for some fresh ripe tomatoes, she’d go into the fucking garden and get them herself! The point is: you know yourself best. So provide whatever it is that you feel you require. Whether or not that shit comes free of charge.

6. More Cat Videos

I’m not currently aware of any scientific studies having been conducted on the effectiveness of this method but Trust me, it works.

7. Hug More Often

Maybe this isn’t appropriate with your boss or with the stranger you’re sitting next to on the subway. No need to chase the homeless man or even the coffee cart guy. Then again, it’s your life, do whatever the hell you want! But find someone who will mutually agree because that oxytocin is just Through Da ROOF mad crazy!

8. Stylize that shit!

RECREATE yourself or your space (or both!)

Contemporary Bedroom by Lafayette Interior Designers & Decorators Holly Bender Interiors

“You mean you’re telling me to be more fashionable? Well that sounds odd for a lifestyle magazine to say…” Well maybe you think so but I’m going to make you think again. Style, fashion, and aesthetic are all based around the idea of DECOR and accentuating physical things: That fabulous chaise in your living room, that new slate tile in your bathroom, your alligator skin shoes. This is art my friends. The same way a poet constructs a metaphor, this is art that complements our space or our bodies. So consider this: Of all the time that we spend hating ourselves, how much time do you actually spend accentuating yourself? You don’t need to be a Victoria’s Secret Model to do so, and if you are, that’s cool too. No matter your shape, your height, your gender, or how furry you may be, if you find a style you appreciate and you take the time to pamper your presentation, you may actually feel better about yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to not spend the morning with your clothes all over the floor of your room? Learn to shop for your shape, discover your style or try new ones, and start feeling like a king/queen (or both if you’re the type that likes to challenge social norms). You deserve to feel good (this has to do with all that loving yourself stuff) and sometimes that’s a lot easier to do when you give yourself some much needed attention. And while you’re at it please get rid of the wretched wood paneling in your basement!

9. Go somewhere you haven’t been before.. Or haven’t been to in a while!

Rustic Landscape by Atlanta Landscape Architects & Landscape Designers Cultivators Design and Landscape

Maybe it’s your backyard. I know-there are far too many weeds to pull that at this point that it’s beyond comprehension but what if you redesign that space into a kickass oasis! Been meaning to go to the Maldives? Well, start planning. Can’t afford to travel? No problem. Drive. Somewhere. Anywhere! Or walk. Hopefully not to the hood. And I suggest you have a GPS handy. Or a friend who knows how to read a map because lord knows I can’t! But just do it. Go somewhere new or somewhere you haven’t been to in a while. (Yay, Chuck E. Cheese!) No matter WHERE YOU LIVE, you most likely don’t take advantage of all of your surroundings and no I’m not talking about having a beer while soaking in your neighbor’s outdoor hot tub just because the fence was high enough to climb over. Need to drive an hour away to get to the lake? Great, just go. Why not? Sometimes a small break from the routine can offer that “vacation” you’ve been looking for.

10. MEMENTO MORI

skull face makeup

We’re all going to die. But luckily, this world is pretty hilarious and strange so why not take advantage of it while you’re here?

Memento Mori is said to be something that a Roman general had his servant repeat to him on a routine basis shortly after achieving a victory. It literally translates into: “Remember that you will die.” The assumed reason for having his servant repeat this to him was to remind the general of his own mortality and that no matter his status, he is human just like everybody else.

While I understand that death may seem like too a morbid of a topic to bring up when we’re talking about happiness, it’s actually quite relevant. It’s an undeniable part of life. It’s what makes life sweet, knowing that it doesn’t quite last forever. Death is the end of the cycle, it signifies completion.

When we consider our mortality our life gains significant value. We realize we have an expiration date. Don’t worry – everything does, well except maybe plastic bottles. If life alone cannot motivate you, excite you, awake you, allow death to be that catalyst. You don’t have to go Goth and start wearing black eyeliner and listen to Jack Off Jill, although they are pretty awesome. Typically we want things we cannot have and we value the things that don’t last forever, like glorious vacation days. So take death and use it a reminder. Rather than thinking of it as the sad or treacherous ending most people do, let it be your tool. So before we have earth worms as roommates, enjoy the life you have been given while it is still yours to live.

Surprise! 11. GIVE IN

photodune-3538109-chocolate-xs

A life of excessive deprivation will make you grumpy, not happy. Just have the chocolate, god damnit.

Projection: A Symptom of Self Deception

When I hear the word projection I think of actual projectors: slide projectors, movie projectors or even the act of projecting, for instance when you’re in a musical and the director tells you to, “Sing out.” But projection is not simply about rendering an illustration of an event or story more visible, it’s about who we are as human beings. Projection is part of our personal character. You cannot just flip a switch to turn off this facet of your personality; it’s ingrained in your psyche.

The term projection sounds quite similar to the word protection. Interestingly enough that’s what certain forms of projection do, they protect people. Or at least that is one of the lies we tell ourselves when we allow projection to influence our lives.

Psychological projection is when one person attaches their own short comings to another person. This defense mechanism is our primal way of fighting back against anything that threatens us or our space.

Innately, we are fighters; we fight to thrive, not simply survive or else we would have been wiped out long ago. However, with wiring quirks like projection in our system, sometimes it seems like a miracle that all of us have not yet shut down and shut ourselves out.

For two years at St. Peter High School in Canada’s national capital, Ottawa, I ran a kindness and compassion group that mainly focused on facilitating the creation of a more positive environment and combating bullying. What we emphasized the most during discussions with students and faculty was that the bully was not the only one to blame. In fact, their behavior was usually a symptom of something else. We quickly learned not to brand people as bullies because names like that stick for a lifetime. We knew that such labels would only induce more negative projection in the future.

When the children who bullied opened up about why they acted in a harmful or hurtful fashion towards others it became clear that they were indeed projecting. Some children had been exposed to violence, while others felt ignored, so they grabbed at any shred of attention they could and held it tightly between their fists. We helped them to channel their rage or feelings of loneliness and we extended our hands to them – peer to peer, not rescuer to victim or even bully to student; we were there to aid them in processing their fears in a safe, non-judgmental environment.

Projection can be dangerous – it can affect everything in your life. It’s often provoked by a situation that usually makes someone anxious or angry and when that happens he or she lashes out. What’s key here is that defensive responses shouldn’t be taken personally. Even if you did something to upset the person, when it comes to projection, reactions usually stem from someone’s own insecurities, fears, or frustrations and these are problems outside of you. Their own problems become attached to those they feel threatened by, but it is not your fault that they use such harmful or potentially, aggressive tactics.

Why do we project instead of dealing with our personal issues head on? At times we may not even be conscious of how severely something or someone may have affected us. In some cases we may not even have the emotional capacity to process our reactions at a given moment. Instead we deflect and deny yet when a problem arises we find ourselves without an outlet and so then we project.

We all have baggage, that is non-disputable, but we can choose how we balance it in our lives. If a woman has been cheated on by a boyfriend then should she immediately suspect every other man she dates of cheating on her? Isn’t that just her biased perspective of men? If a man did not have a close relationship with his father growing up and he decides to distance himself from his own son because he’s afraid of messing up his son’s life, is that fair? I know that fairness and justice are archaic concepts dreamed up eons ago to provide a moral basis for life but they are still relevant. Life will never always be fair and by definition that probably means that it will never be truly fair; nevertheless, there’s no harm in trying to make the world a better place.

If that woman could meet a man without automatically comparing him to her unfaithful ex her life might get a little bit brighter and if that man stopped obsessing about his past long enough to see that his son wants him around more than anything in the entire universe, he also might be happier.

We say we’re protecting ourselves by lashing out at what’s good and beautiful because it is true, pure and seemingly unattainable. Instead of allowing joy into our world we fight it, every step of the way. It can be difficult to venture into the light of hope after living one’s life surrounded by shadows of defensiveness and anger. So, instead of embracing goodness we shy away from it because although it seems wonderful we are suspicious of its durability and its true purpose in our lives.

We fear rejection, imperfection, and confrontation with the truth, so we choose instead to push away our feelings and in doing so our projections keep us disillusioned. We tell ourselves that our partners are selfish because secretly we feel we indulge too much in ourselves, but heaven forbid they say that aloud. We exist in a culture of self deception which is no where near as entertaining as the film Inception.

Even so, there is hope. Projections, like actions are neither innately good nor bad, they are neutral; however, any intent associated with them will influence their outcomes. We hold power in our words; every one of us matters in this world, because each and every action we perform sets off a chain reaction.

Yes, we have this mechanism for a reason, it warns us to be cautious, to tread lightly, and to learn from past mistakes, but that does not mean we should allow ourselves to be ruled by our projections. They are only a small part of who we are. We are beings with free will and the freedom of choice. What do you want to do – triumphantly thrive or just survive? Think carefully, choose wisely and good luck.

Review of Documentary: Girl Model

Having a troubled past with eating disorders, it’s always difficult to pass up a movie about twisted body image.

In the documentary Girl Model we are taken on a journey with American model scout Ashley Arbaugh who once took the same path as the females she is looking to recruit. She embarked on her modeling career in Japan, where is she looking to take her potential models. Despite modeling being portrayed as an exciting career path, the old self-documented video clips reveal a depressed, confused, and repulsed person. Ashely admits that she hated modeling, which makes one consider why she has dedicated 15 years to the industry.

On the other spectrum we witness Nadya, a 13 year old girl from Siberia, who is chosen to go to Japan in hopes of embarking on what could be a very successful and lucrative career. What Japan looks for are girls that young and fresh and what is most adored is the image of woman that is untouched and uncorrupted. Yet it’s funny how these innocent canvases are craved only to be carved into sexualized females through makeup and fashion.

While the documentary is controversial for many reasons: underage models, promised money and dreams that aren’t always delivered and skinny requirements aside, what I found most disturbing was the model scout, Ashley. She speaks about how the field is not exactly a fulfilling one yet the flexibility to travel and not have to succumb to a 9 to 5 offers it’s “freedom.” Yet what I see is not a woman that is free, but a woman that is trapped.

The small clips in which she offers her introspection say enough. Still striving to look presentable within the industry, her body is as thin as many of the other models. She is a woman in her mid-thirties with a very skinny frame which is paired with what seems like a rather meager diet. When they film her in her home in Japan, there is a shot that is focused on two plastic babies of life-like size. She commented that when she first moved into the house that it was so quiet, it was unsettling. But the plastic babies seem to symbolize more than a need for human connection; They seem to represent a life that she has ultimately passed by, for sake of her career, or what appears more like an obsession. While she doesn’t love what she does, she seems to be a rat in a cage. The modeling world is all she knows, so she finds it difficult to escape. And as unhappy as she may be, which is clear even through her own forced smiles, she finds comfort in it, for perhaps the unknown is more frightening than what she has become a slave to. And maybe it wasn’t so much the quiet house that was so unsettling but her own thoughts that she could not live with.

While this documentary may lack some of the climactic moments that many may crave, it presents the disconcerting reality of how people live with distorted body images and how difficult it is to escape a belief once one is entangled in it.

ARIST of Venice Beach: Artist & Philosopher

I made some WONDERFUL friends last October upon my magical visit to Venice Beach, California. Upon wandering the boardwalk, you can find a plethora of them: Passionate People deeply inspired by their life journeys to offer the world something a little more substantial that just another status quo social role. Arist (like Aristotle) was just one of these people and Wow, did he have some profound, political, and hilarious things to discuss.

With Everything Incorporated

Before I left for Colombia I was working on a painting that I really loved. In the midst of trying to squeeze in a few more hours before my flight, I was working on one of the last parts of it only to entirely fuck it up. I drew way outside the lines of my original Sharpie outline and being that this was a painting with which I planned for the natural brown cardboard to be the background, there was no fixing what I had done.

While abroad, I’d sometimes ponder about my unfortunate mistake. I knew that upon my return, I’d be returning to my painting, sitting there on the lonely easel waiting for my company. I wasn’t sure what to do. The idea of giving up entirely had offered some peace. Part of me was still totally pissed. Part of me wished I was a better painter. Part of me thought I should just dump painting all together, that it was a waste of time.

Towards the end of my trip however, I had made a DECISION. I had decided that the painting was salvageable and I knew that I loved it too much to not find a WAY.

All throughout my travels and continuously in the wild adventures of life, I have been learning many things.

One big lesson is that many things are rarely ever perfect, including ourselves. Perfection can mean a certain ideal or standard that one strives for, such as becoming the best version of yourself. But when perfection takes on a negative role, in which you feel guilty for not being “Perfect” or when things don’t work out “Perfectly,” we suffer.

When a situation like this arises, we forget something absolutely Essential not only about who we are, but the ways in which our lives function.

Everything in life is a result of an accumulation of events. Just as we are products of Evolution, a very long process over an extended period of time, evolution is what has allowed the modern human to have certain mental and physical capabilities. Similarly, who we are in life is due to all of the events that we experience and how we view the world is how we have reacted to, and perceived past life events. We are a collection if you will, a scrap book of many scenarios. When something “negative” happens, we tend to view it as such and label it as being unfortunate and wonder why things can’t just be “perfect.” But what we fail to recognize is that mistakes, as well as “failure, can be [our] best friend.” Mistakes challenge us to look at things differently. They offer a different perspective. Sure, at times it is an uncomfortable perspective because it breaks us of our certainty that everything is well and therefore, predictable. Rather than looking at mistakes as unfortunate events, we can simply learn to label them differently, as Challenges. By doing so we can remind ourselves that in the grand scheme of things, everything is incorporated. By learning to incorporate our mistakes into our lives and adjusting the way we view them, we can find ways to learn and gain insight from them.

“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” Jean-Paul Sartre

It has often been said that the biggest mistakes are the ones we fail to learn from.

So ask yourself:

What happened here?

How did I go wrong?

How can I be better in the future?

And how can I remedy this situation NOW?

Just as with a work of art, we must learn to incorporate our mistakes into the masterpieces of our lives.